All You Did Was Save My Life
by TessaStarDean
Summary: A collection of Criminal Minds drabbles written for cm het drabble over at LJ. Het, gen, different pairings. Each stands alone.
1. all you did was save my life

"You're an idiot," Prentiss hissed, pressing down harder on the wound.

Dave winced, frowning up at her. "I'm not sure that's how you should be speaking to me, Agent Prentiss. I did just take a bullet for you."

She glared down at him, trying to ignore the blood seeping between her fingers. "I had it covered."

"Right. Well as tough as you are, Emily, I'm not sure you could have survived a shot to the neck. Unless -"

"Shut up," she hissed. "Just...shut up, Dave."

And that was when he saw it. The tears standing in her eyes, and the set of her jaw as she tried to hold her expression steady. Lifting his uninjured arm, he placed his hand over hers.

"Don't you dare leave me," she warned.

He just shook his head as the sirens grew louder. "I'm not going anywhere, Em. I'm a stubborn old bastard."

She gave him a smile and shook her head, trying to blink some of the tears away. "Thank God for that."

"I'm gonna remind you of that sentiment the next time we have an argument."

Shaking her head, she gave a little laugh, relief flooding through her as the ambulance came to a stop beside them.

"Don't push your luck., Rossi."


	2. walking in the rain

Some cliches were true.

The rain was warm as it soaked through her clothes, through her skin, into her blood. And it felt good. It couldn't wash away the horrors of the day, but it at least lessened the stains and washed her own thoughts away, letting her just breathe.

It was raining even harder by the time she reached the bridge. Looking out over the water, she watched the lights of the city move with the currents and then closed her eyes.

"Emily?"

She smiled faintly as she turned to see him sitting in the car behind her. She should have known he would come looking for her, just to make sure she was okay. Leaving the water behind, she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Ready to go home?" he asked quietly.

She nodded and reached over, resting her hand on his. "Yeah."


	3. trust me pt1

"Drop her!" the UNSUB screamed, his gun trained on Hotch.

The agent looked down at JJ, her hand gripping his tightly as she hung from the edge of the roof. He would rather die than drop her, but if he was shot, he would drop her anyway. Mind racing, he looked for a way out.

And then he saw it, as three floors below them, Rossi and Morgan stepped out onto the balcony.

"JJ," he said firmly, waiting for her eyes to lock with his own. "Do you trust me?"

She swallowed and nodded. "Always," she whispered.

He nodded once and then squeezed her hand once before letting go completely.

Crouching and turning, he trusted that his friends would catch her, and reached for the gun at his ankle.


	4. trust me pt2

They had barely spoken since it had happened. She knew that he had to finish the job, to wrap things up neat and clean with the local PD. And she knew that if she gave into it for even a second, her hands would start to shake, and she'd never be able to stop them. So she kept her distance, simply letting her eyes meet his and giving him a small nod, letting him know that everything was okay.

That they were okay.

Which was why she was surprised at the knock on her door later that night. Morgan and Rossi and Reid had already checked on her more than once, and she'd practically had to beat Emily off with a stick. She groaned as she pushed herself off of the bed, ready to tell whoever it was in no uncertain terms that she was fine and all she needed was a little sleep.

But when she saw Hotch standing there, fists clenched at his sides, she opened the door quickly, concern etched on her face.

"Hotch?"

"May I come in?"

She stepped aside, hearing the tension in his voice. Resetting the chain on the door, she began to turn towards him.

"What's wrong -"

His arms were around her in the space of a heartbeat, and she found herself pressed against his chest, breathing him in. His embrace was crushing, but it was over before she'd even had a chance to really register it.

And that was when she saw that he was shaking. Pushing him back gently, she led him to the edge of the bed and sat him down before taking a seat next to him.

"Hotch, talk to me."

He stared down at the carpet, shoulders sagging, arms resting on his thighs. "I..." He shook his head, obviously frustrated with himself. Taking a deep breath, he tried again. "I don't do well with losing people," he said quietly.

"But you didn't lose me," she reminded him, her voice gentle. "You didn't let go until you saw Morgan and Rossi."

He turned his head to look at her. "And if they hadn't shown up?"

She shrugged. "We don't need to know that."

He nodded, but his eyes were still troubled. JJ just waited him out, knowing that he would talk when he found the words he was looking for.

"Do you still trust me?"

His question was quiet, and for a second, she wasn't sure that she'd heard him right. But she could tell that the answer was important to him, that it was the real reason he had shown up at her doorstep. Reaching out, she rested her hand on his.

"I'll always trust you, Hotch. That's what you and I do."

He nodded again. And then, slowly, his hand opened and he let their fingers entwine.


	5. movie night

"Come on."

Hotch looked up to see JJ and Emily standing in his office. He frowned. "Is there somewhere we need to be?"

Emily nodded. "We're all going to JJ's for a movie night."

His frown deepened. "I don't remember -"

"That's because you weren't told," JJ explained. "This isn't an invitation, Hotch. It's an order. You need a night spent interacting with other human beings in a normal manner. No cases. No work." She looked him up and down critically. "No suits."

"But -"

Emily held up her hand. "We already know that Jack is staying with his aunt tonight. Which means you have no excuses."

"And if you don't come quietly, I will have to go get Garcia," JJ added.

Hotch glared at her. "That's low, JJ. Even for you."

She shrugged. "I'm ruthless. Now get up. Your go bag is in the car, and I happen to know that there are casual clothes in there. You can change at my house."

He sighed, looking at the determined expressions on their faces. "There's no way I'm getting out of this, is there?"

Rossi stuck his head in the room. "Aaron, you have two gorgeous women dragging you out for an evening of fun. Are you really going to keep arguing?"

A smile tugging at his lips, Hotch set down his pen and stood up. "No, I guess not."

As he followed them out of the room, he couldn't stop the smile from growing just a little bit. He'd never be able to tell them, but he loved his team - and they were what kept him going most days.

They were what saved him.


	6. too late

It was one little slip of paper, but it was ruining his life. And there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it. A voice in his head told him that there had been a time when he could have stopped this train wreck.

But now he was just too damned late.

A hand touched his shoulder, and he knew it was her before he even saw the new diamond adorning her finger.

"You'll be there, right?" she asked.

Derek smiled up at her, pushing everything back except what would make her happy.

"Of course, baby girl. Anything for you."


	7. bathing suit

"Isn't it a little cold out to be swimming?"

Emily turned in the water to see Dave standing at the edge of the pool, and she smirked at him.

"I thought maybe if I jumped in, Mother Nature would get the hint about summer."

"An optimist then."

Smiling, Emily swam over to him and raised a hand. "Help me out?"

Rossi laughed, shaking his head. "How stupid do you think I am?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll just have to get out by myself."

Pressing her palms into the concrete walk, Emily pushed herself out of the pool. Dave tried not to look, but the black bikini showed more than enough to keep his attention, and when she stood up straight, dripping all over his shoes, he found that she was much closer than he had been anticipating.

"Sure you don't want to go for a swim, Dave?"

He swallowed hard, but tried to keep his expression stoic. "I'm worried you might catch a cold, Agent Prentiss. I think a hot shower might be a good idea."

She gave him an appraising look, and Dave couldn't help but smile.

"I'd be more than willing to offer my shower."

Emily grinned.


	8. drive

He was a fool. He knew that. Accepted it. He even knew that nothing good could come of it.

That didn't stop him from being a fool, though.

Emily Prentiss was one hell of a woman. She was gorgeous, intelligent, kind. She cared deeply for the victims, even as she put her game face on, forcing herself to face down the horrors of their job. Her smile was genuine and bright, and it made him feel things that he had no business feeling. Nevermind the fact that she worked with him, that she was considerably younger than him, that she was completely off-limits.

None of it stopped him from falling in love with her.

Tightening his hands on the steering wheel, he continued to drive into the rain, shaking his head. Not only was he a fool, he was a fool who got jealous when she flirted with attractive men her age. He sighed and sped up, not caring where he ended up.

Except that he ended up at her apartment.

In front of her door.

Knocking.

She frowned in confusion when she opened the door and found him standing there, but there was something else in her eyes as well.

"Dave? What are you doing here?"

He looked at her for a long moment before being completely honest. "I don't know.

And that was when she gave him a small smile and held out her hand.

"Why don't we not know together?"

He was moving forward before she'd even begun speaking, and he took her hand, letting her lead him inside.


	9. music

It wasn't that he didn't like music. He did. Always had. But it had been a long time since he thought of just putting a CD on, letting the words and melodies fill the house.

JJ changed all that. When things fell apart with LaMontagne, he had offered his spare room to her and Henry. It wasn't an entirely selfless act - he and Jack needed the company, and for some reason, both he and his son felt safe with them.

It had been a long time since he'd really talked to anyone, too. But he and JJ would stay up late into the night, talking, laughing, sharing...like tonight. She had picked up the habit of falling asleep on his shoulder, and he couldn't help but wrap an arm around her and just sit there for awhile.

Closing his eyes, he let the music from one of her CDs wash over him. The beat was low and deep, and he felt it right through to his bones. Each strike of the drums sent a shiver through him, and he felt his breath catching. He looked at JJ again and wondered if she could feel it, too.

His fingers ran through her hair of their own accord, and she stirred, lifting her head to look at him with sleepy eyes.

And he couldn't help it.

He kissed her.

The drums filled him completely then, shaking him to the core, moving him, sweeping him along with the beat. And when her hand slid around the back of his neck and she kissed him back, he knew it.

She felt it, too.


	10. drinks

Hotch almost choked on his drink.

"Strauss?" he asked, eyes wide. "You and Strauss?"

Rossi glared at him, ordering another scotch. "Once."

"No wonder she hates you."

"I'd like you to know that she kicked me out of her bed."

Hotch just gave him a look, and Rossi finally caved.

"Fine, fine. She just beat me to it."

Shaking his head, Hotch took another sip. "Strauss," he muttered.

Dave knew he'd never live that one down.


	11. eyes

She was still shaking when they got back to the hotel. Everyone else immediately headed for the bar, but JJ and Hotch were sweaty and dirty, and neither of them wanted to waste any time getting in a shower before dinner. As she stopped at her door, she looked back to find Aaron staring at her.

"Don't look at me like that," she said, shaking her head.

He frowned. "Like what?"

"Like that." The way he had after the gunfire had dissipated, his eyes searching her out, boring into her. "Just...don't."

"I don't under -"

She sighed, swiping her keycard and getting a red light for the third time. "It makes me want to jump you, Hotch, so -"

Then his hand was at the small of her back, pressing against her as the fingers of his other hand closed over hers. Slowly, he guided the keycard through the reader again, this time getting a green light. Together, they pushed the door open.

He followed her in.


	12. kiss

They'd kissed countless times before. Forehead, cheek, hands...it was common knowledge that they were comfortable together, that they felt comforted by each other. It was second nature to them now, touching and flirting as they went through their day.

But Derek Morgan was completely unprepared for the feeling of Garcia's lips against his own. He wasn't sure if he had aimed wrong, or if she had turned her head at the last instant, but instead of getting the side of her face, he got her mouth.

And he didn't want to pull back.

Ever.

Which was why he thanked God when she tilted her head and let him deepen the kiss, moaning softly. This may have been new territory for them, but he was intent on exploring it.

Thoroughly.


	13. history

He knew his history. He knew that he wasn't good at relationships. That his inability to effectively communicate his feelings made him seem cold and distant. That his devotion to his job made him miss dates and anniversaries and birthdays. That he carried enough baggage to drown himself and anyone touching him.

But as he stared down at the woman sleeping on the couch next to him, he didn't care. Maybe it was selfish, but he couldn't stop himself. She offered every bit of herself to him, without demanding anything in return, and he wasn't going to turn her away.

He couldn't.

Not when he loved her so much it threatened to choke him.

Leaning down, he brushed her soft hair out of her face and kissed her cheek. History had made him who he was. But all that mattered was her, at that very moment. And he wasn't going to let go.


	14. unusual

Emily didn't know whether to drop her head into her hands or get out her phone so she could put the whole thing on YouTube.

Because David Rossi was singing.

And dancing.

To Tom Jones.

She watched in disbelief as he glided around his kitchen, alternating stirring and using the wooden spoon as a microphone. Eyes closed, mouth open wide, he wasn't holding anything back.

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone

It's not unusual to have fun with anyone

but when I see you hanging about with anyone

It's not unusual to see me cry,

oh I wanna' die

It's not unusual to go out at any time

but when I see you out and about it's such a crime

if you should ever want to be loved by anyone,

It's not unusual it happens every day no matter what you say

you find it happens all the time

love will never do what you want it to

why can't this crazy love be mine

It's not unusual, to be mad with anyone

It's not unusual, to be sad with anyone

but if I ever find that you've changed at anytime

it's not unusual to find out that I'm in love with you

whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh

He spun around on the last few notes and opened his eyes, his gaze locking with hers. For a minute, they both just stood there, neither entirely sure of what to say.

"Tom Jones, huh?" Emily asked, finally breaking the silence.

Rossi winced. "You weren't supposed to see that until you were madly in love with me and therefore unable to dump me."

She laughed at that, walking forward and kissing him softly. "I'm not gonna leave you, Dave." He breathed a sigh of relief, and she grinned wickedly at him over her shoulder as she walked to the stove. "I am gonna tell Morgan, though."


	15. it wasn't supposed to happen like this

It wasn't supposed to happen like this, he thought to himself.

He should have told JJ how he felt a long time ago. After Haley left, his feelings for the media liaison had snuck up on him, and he tried his best to quash them. He told himself that it was nothing more than a reaction to his wife leaving him, that there was nothing there.

And then Will had happened.

It felt like a sucker punch when they announced they were having a baby. He had known she was seeing someone, but hadn't realized it was so serious. He was forced to watch her build a life with another man, never letting his stoic expression fall no matter how much it might hurt.

Maybe if he had told her then, though, he could have spared her. The constant fights between her and LaMontagne became common knowledge of the team, and the dark circles under her eyes deepened day by day. It was almost a relief when she caught him another woman, giving her everything she needed to take her son and walk out.

Looking down at her and the boys in his arms, Hotch smiled. Maybe he should have told her years ago, instead of showing up at her door on a rainy night and just kissing her. But maybe things he had turned out for the best. He hated LaMontagne, but it was because of him that they had Henry, and there wasn't any member of their little family he'd trade just to avoid the pain they'd had to go through.

Because now it was perfect.


	16. she should have been in bed

She should have been in bed. She knew that. Three a.m. was a time for sleeping, not for running around the block, chest heaving and limbs burning from exhaustion. But it was better than pacing around her apartment with a restless energy that made her want to either scream at the top of her lungs or punch the nearest wall.

So she ran. It wasn't long before she lost count of how many times she had gone around, but she kept pushing. She knew that if she stopped, the thoughts would come back. The nagging questions. The utter certainty that she was a fool.

When she did finally stop, it was only because her body simply refused to go any further. Bent over at the waist, she rested her arms on her knees, desperately filling her lungs with air. As the pounding in her ears slowly subsided, she realized that the problem that had chased her out of her apartment was still there. And maybe...maybe there was nothing she could do to make it go away.

She was in love with Aaron Hotchner.

"Dammit," Emily muttered.

And she went back inside.


	17. he stared at her in disbelief

He stared at her in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

JJ gave him a small smile. "You asked me who I was thinking about. And I was thinking about you."

Hotch frowned, taking a seat next to her at the bar. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Do I need a reason?"

"I just...I thought you would have been thinking about Will."

JJ paused, taking a drink. "Kind of stupid to be thinking about someone that left four months ago."

He hadn't been expecting that. "JJ, I'm -"

"Don't." She shook her head. "I only stayed because of Henry," she whispered.

He nodded, and they were both quiet for a long time. Hotch watched her out of the corner of his eye as she finished her beer, and then he drained the last of his.

"I think about you, too," he said quietly.


	18. the phone rang

The phone rang, the noise shrill against the silence. JJ stared at it sullenly for a moment, unable to decide whether or not to answer it. But the noise wouldn't stop, and her decision was made for her.

"Jareau," she said dully, leaning her head back against the wall.

"JJ? It's Emily." A small pause. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Do we have a case?"

"No...JJ, what's wrong?"

She sniffed, cradling her head in one hand. "Will."

"Is he alright?"

"He's gone. He left."

"Oh, God...Jayje..."

"I don't know what to do," she whispered.

"Where's Henry?"

"Sleeping."

"Good. Stay right there, JJ. I'll grab Garcia and we'll be there in twenty minutes, okay?"

"Okay."

"Just don't go anywhere."

As she hung up the phone, JJ looked around. A small voice in the back of her head wondered if this was how Hotch had felt, coming home to an empty house, the world he knew completely gone.

Leaning back and closing her eyes, she felt tears slide down her face.


	19. it had been a long time

It had been a long time since he'd stood in the rain.

He'd forgotten how good it felt.

Turning his face up, Dave let the water wash over him. It had been a productive day in the yard - mowing, edging, cleaning things up after winter's heavy hits. The rain had started to fall just after he got everything back in the shed, and he'd stopped.

It was warm, and it felt good as it permeated his clothes, his skin drinking it up like it had been dry for ages. Maybe it had been.

His phone rang. Slowly, he opened his eyes and pushed the hair back from his forehead. Glancing down at the caller i.d., he saw that it was JJ, and he knew that they had gotten another case. He took another few seconds to soak up the rain before he answered the phone.

It was just enough.


	20. what's that? she asked

"What's that?" she asked.

Dave sighed. "I thought that would be fairly obvious, Em."

She glared at him. "It's a ring."

"Very good."

"Why would you be giving me a ring?"

"I'm offering you the ring, Em. And...offering you the rest of my life, as well." He sighed again, his frustration evident. "Dammit, Emily, I want to marry you."

She stared at him - and the ring - in disbelief. "Why?"

Dave's expression softened, and he reached out to touch her face gently. "Because I love you," he said firmly. "Because I'm sick of you calling some place else home. Because I know we're both too damn stubborn to call it quits when this gets tough..." He trailed off, swallowing hard. "Do you love me, Emily?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she whispered, her own eyes filling with tears as she watched his close in relief. "I just...I didn't..." She shook her head. "I kept waiting for this to end. For you to walk away."

Dave frowned, taking her hand in his. "I'm all in this, Em. I have been from the beginning."

She smiled, moving closer to him on the bed and kissing him softly. "Yes," she whisphered again.

His eyes lit up with hope. "Yes?"

Emily held out her left hand, her grin broadening. "Yes."

Dave slid the ring home and pulled her close.


	21. he took her hand

He took her hand, thumb moving across her skin slowly. He expected her to pull away, but she just stared at him, tears sliding down her face.

"I'm sorry," Penelope whispered. "I can't wait for you. I can't...I can't live like that."

Kevin nodded. "I know." He sighed. "I just can't pass something like this up."

"I know. I'm not mad, Kevin. I just...I'm gonna miss you." More tears fell down her face.

He pulled her into his arms then, holding her as tightly as he could. Penelope Garcia had been the last thing he'd expected in his life, and by far the best. For the hundredth time, he wondered if he was doing the right thing. When they finally pulled away, she sniffed, wiping at her face.

"You better let me know how you're doing once in awhile, or I'll have to hack the government."

Kevin gave her a sad smile. "You'll do that anyway."

"Probably. But you don't want me doing it when I'm uber worried and upset."

"Trust me, I have a healthy fear of your hacking skills." Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead. "Bye, Penelope."

She waited until he was out the door. "Bye," she whispered.


	22. wedding

Ambassador Prentiss had always wanted something big for her daughter's wedding. Something she could plan. Flowers everywhere, a large church, a professional photographer...she had played it out in her head more than once.

Emily wasn't even sure she was ever going to get married.

Especially once she started seeing Dave. She loved him, and she knew that he loved her back, but that didn't change the fact that he'd been married three times before. She imagined going through the process again was the last thing he wanted to do. And she accepted that. As long as she got to be with him, a ring on her finger didn't matter. Not a lot, anyway.

Which was why she had been so shocked when he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him.

On Saturday.

As in, three days later.

But as they stood in Dave's backyard, the priest leading them through the ceremony, Emily realized that it couldn't have been any more perfect. Everyone had been surprised when their Memorial Day picnic had turned into a wedding, but everyone was smiles. Hotch had even given her away, kissing her cheek before moving to stand with JJ and their boys.

"I'm gonna do this right this time," Dave said, holding her hand when it was time for their vows. "Both of us are too damn stubborn to walk away from this. So you're stuck with me, Emily. For better and for worse."

She couldn't help but laugh, tears standing in her eyes. "And there's no one I'd rather be stuck with," she replied, squeezing his hand.

Rings were exchanged, and when it was time to kiss the bride, Dave stepped forward, pressing his forehead to hers. "I love you," he whispered.

She barely had time to say it back before he was kissing her, sealing their lives together in front of everyone they loved. Her arms went around his neck and pulled him closer, feeling so much she thought she could burst.

Perfect.


	23. a wing and a prayer

He couldn't help but watch her sleep. Even on the plane, surrounded by profilers who could easily piece it all together. It didn't matter. His eyes went to her and stayed there.

He knew how lucky he was to have her. Knew that, without her, he'd have been completely lost - to the job, to his own demons. He came home every night to an amazing woman and two beautiful little boys, and he felt whole again.

And he knew that if he forced her to keep their relationship secret for too much longer, he would lose all of that.

There was a sound to his right, and he looked up to see Dave taking a seat next to him. Forcing his eyes to the file in front of him, Hotch waited for him to speak.

"How long?"

"Excuse me?"

Dave nodded toward the sleeping JJ. "How long?" he asked again.

He could have lied. Pretended he didn't know what his friend was talking about. But as he looked over at her, he realized that he couldn't do it anymore.

"Almost six months," he said quietly.

Dave nodded. "She's good for you."

"I just hope I'm good for her."

"She's not looking for a big declaration, you know."

Hotch turned, frowning at him. "What?"

"JJ. She doesn't need you to make some announcement to the team."

His frown deepened. "Then what does she need?"

Rossi shrugged. "For you to not keep her swept under the rug. Sit next to her during a team dinner or a briefing. Talk to her on the plane. Maybe even hold her hand if we all go out to the bar. She just needs to know she's not some dirty secret." He clapped his friend on the shoulder. "You are good for her, Aaron. You just have to prove that you want her."

With that, Dave got up and moved back to his spot with Emily and Morgan. For a long time, Hotch just sat there, working his way through everything the other man had said. Finally, he closed the file and got up, moving with purpose across the plane.

Pulling a blanket down from the overhead bin, he gently covered JJ, smiling as she sighed in her sleep. Then he took a seat next to her, leaving one hand on her shoulder as he opened up the file once again.


	24. friday

She was on him before he'd even shut the door. Lips pressed against his, hands hurriedly pushing off his jacket and pulling his shirt out from his pants. His body responded before his mind had a chance to catch up, arms holding her close even as he turned around and pressed her against the wall.

"JJ," he breathed, his lips moving down her neck, fingers making quick work of the buttons on her shirt.

"Two weeks," she practically growled. "I've barely been able to talk to you, nevermind touch you -" She gasped as his hands reached bare skin. "It's Friday, the boys are with Jessica, and you are mine."

Hotch just grinned and carried her up to the bedroom.


	25. man after my own heart

**A/N: Cara is an OC from my story "the beginning is the end is the beginning" and is Jack's live-in nanny**

Jack leaned over the back of the couch, face in his hands as he looked out the window. Cara smiled as she watched him, folding the laundry.

"Whatcha thinkin', little man?" she asked.

"It looks cold out."

She nodded. "The weatherman said it was very very cold out."

He gave a dramatic sigh. "I want it to be warm again."

"Me too."

He turned around, laying down to face her, his head on a cushion. "Do we hafta go out today?"

Cara shook her head. "Not if you don't want to."

"I wanna stay in."

She smiled. "Okay."

"And watch movies."

"Okay."

"And have hot chocolate."

She chuckled as his list grew. "Okay."

"And have grilled cheese."

Cara grinned, leaning over and poking his tummy. "A man after my own heart. Those all sound like great ideas."

"Can we start with Aslan?"

Looking down at the laundry basket, she decided that the clothes could wait. She stood up and popped the first Narnia movie in before moving to the kitchen. It didn't take long for her to make the hot chocolate, and when she brought it back into the living room, she found Jack already engrossed in the movie. She set the mugs down and sat next to him, smiling as he cuddled against her and rested his head on her chest.

"I wish Daddy could be here," he said quietly.

Glancing out at the cold and snow, Cara found herself hoping that he was inside somewhere warm. She kissed the top of Jack's head.

"Me too, buddy," she whispered.

And she meant it.


	26. going boldly

"Going boldly where no man has gone before," Emily said gravely, leaning against the door frame and shaking her head. "You're a brave man, Aaron Hotchner."

He almost jumped at the sound of her voice, but forced himself to turn slowly. "Prentiss."

She gave him a smile, walking in. "Seriously, Hotch. You know how JJ feels about her desk."

He wanted to hide his hands, but there was no way to do so. "I just..."

"Is that a present?"

Hotch swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before looking up and meeting her eyes squarely. "Yes."

Emily's smile softened. "Then I think she'll forgive you for messing with her desk." She turned to walk out, but looked over her shoulder at the last minute. "And Hotch?"

"Yes?"

"Happy anniversary," she whispered.

She walked out, and Hotch couldn't help but shake his head and chuckle. A group of profilers, and he had been foolish enough to think that they had managed to keep a secret. Setting the gift down on her desk, he let his fingers linger over it for a second, hoping that she loved it as much as he thought she would.

"Happy anniversary, JJ," he whispered.

And then he was gone.


	27. pursuit of happiness

"Do you think that's true?"

Aaron's eyebrows went up, and he turned slightly to look at Emily, resting her head on his shoulder as they watched the movie.

"What?"

She nodded at the TV. "What he just said about never attaining happiness, only being able to pursue it."

He frowned, thinking the question over. "I'm happy now," he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

Emily sat up slightly, looking at him thoughtfully as one hand came up to his cheek. "But you'll always have pain, too. You'll never forget some of the victims we've met, or the horrible things people have done to each other. You'll never stop grieving Haley, or blaming yourself."

His hand came up to rest over hers. "Without the pain," he said quietly. "I wouldn't know happiness."

From other men, it would have been a line. But Emily was looking him right in the eye, and she knew - knew - that he meant every word. He didn't deny the pain, but he was letting the happiness in. Giving him a soft kiss, she settled down again, resting her head on his shoulder.

It was enough for her.


	28. my pleasure

JJ glanced over and gave him a small smile as the car pulled into her driveway. "Thanks for driving me home, Dave."

His smile was warm and genuine. "My pleasure, kiddo." Her hand reached for the door, and he cleared his throat. "You can talk to us, you know."

She frowned. "About what?"

He shrugged, looking out the windshield. "Why you don't smile as much anymore. Why you're not wearing that ring anymore." He shrugged again. "Anything."

She stared at him for a long minute and then bit her bottom lip. "Henry and I were going to order pizza for dinner. Wanna join us?"

He didn't let anything show at the omission of Will's name. He just nodded, smiling as he undid his seat belt. "I'd love to."


	29. breathe

He wasn't a hero.

He knew that. Accepted it. He was perfectly alright with his role on the team. Morgan and Rossi and Hotch could kick down the doors and chase after suspects. He was comfortable being the brains, the go-to guy when it came to puzzles. The others respected him for it, and he was proud of his place.

But none of that mattered when he saw Emily hanging from the ceiling.

He didn't remember dragging a table across the room, or cutting her down with the small pocket knife he carried. He didn't remember laying her down, or removing the rope from her neck.

But he did remember her hair falling across her face, the blue that had started to taint her lips.

He tried to give her every ounce of breath that he had. He knew that it was impossible, a voice in the back of his head rattling off statistics about asphyxia and chances of survival after certain time intervals.

He told his brain to shut the hell up and focused on his friend.

And when she finally coughed and took a rattling breath in, any other voices were drowned out by his relief.


	30. smile

Cara glanced over at Hotch as they cooked dinner, and then glanced back at Jack, who was laying on his stomach in the living room, coloring.

"He has your smile, you know," she said quietly.

He turned to look at his son, lips twitching. "And is that a good thing?"

She laughed, the sound making his lips twitch again. "A very good thing." She shrugged, focusing on the pan in front of her. "Of course, you could do it more. Smile, I mean."

"And just yesterday, Penelope informed me that I've been smiling more than usual. Morgan said it creeped him out."

Cara shook her head. "So what triggered all the smiling?"

His eyes slid over to her for a moment before he opened the oven to pull out the chicken. "You, actually."

Her eyes widened. "Me?"

Hotch nodded. "You make it easy to smile."

All she could do was blush.


	31. cry

She let out a long breath as soon as she was in the elevator, and once again the tears filled her eyes. She couldn't clear her mind of those children, of their broken mothers who would never be able to hold them again. Her hands started to shake, and she could feel the sobs building to a steady roar in her chest.

And just before the doors closed, a hand shot out, and Dave was standing beside her.

"Don't," she whispered, after a moment of painful silence.

"Don't what?"

"Don't tell me I'm too emotionally involved."

He shook his head. "I have no intention of doing that, Emily," he said quietly.

And his hand slipped into hers.


	32. shoot

She heard the hammer cock back only seconds before the trigger was pulled. The bullet went through glass, shattering it completely before ripping through his shirt, his skin, his muscle. Blood splattered everywhere as he fell back, dead before his head bounced off the pavement.

JJ sat up quickly, the nightmare replaying itself over and over again in her mind. There were hands on her, and she fought against them, until she realized that they were soothing instead of attacking, that the low voice speaking to her was a familiar, comforting one.

"JJ," he murmured. "JJ, it's me. You're okay. JJ -"

Her eyes finally focused on Aaron and she remembered. Looking around, she tried to steady her breathing, pushing the hair back out of her face.

"Where's Henry?" she finally asked.

"Dave and Emily are watching him."

She nodded dully. "I should be doing something."

"You've done all you can for now," he said firmly. His eyes searched hers. "You need to rest, JJ."

"I told him it was over."

Aaron frowned. "What?"

"Three days ago. I told him I didn't love him. That this wasn't working. Maybe if I hadn't...maybe..."

His hands came up to her face, forcing her to look at him. "Don't do it, JJ. Don't play this game."

"You did," she said quietly.

"And I almost lost my job, my friends, my son...let us help. We won't let you fall."

She nodded, too tired to argue. "Will you stay?"

He didn't hesitate. "Of course."

She laid down slowly, and Aaron joined her, his arm slowly curling around her waist. He didn't let his eyes close until he felt her breathing even out. And then he tightened his grip and buried his face in her hair, letting himself drift off.


	33. subtle

"I need to talk to you."

Hotch glanced up from his paperwork to see Dave standing in front of his desk. "Okay."

Dave sat down. "It's personal."

"I gathered from the closed door. What's wrong?"

"I..." He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. "There's a woman..."

Hotch nodded. "Emily."

Dave stared at him. "Excuse me?"

He shrugged. "Your demeanor tells me that you're nervous, and I've never seen any woman make you nervous, except for Emily. Also, you're head over heels in love with her." When his friend just continued to stare at him in disbelief, Hotch's mouth twitched up into a smile. "Come on, Dave. It's not like you're subtle about it."

There was a moment of awkward silence, Dave shifting uncomfortably in the chair. "Does she know?" he finally asked, his voice quiet.

"No. You should really get around to asking her out before she gives up on you." He smirked at the expression on his friend's face. "She's not exactly subtle, either. At least not in front of a room of profilers."

Dave blew out a long breath, shaking his head. "You're a smug bastard, Aaron Hotchner," he said, standing and heading to the door.

"You're welcome!" Hotch called as he left.


	34. missing

"JJ?"

Her head shot up, one hand coming up to wipe at her cheek. She sniffed, quickly composing herself.

"What do you need?"

Hotch stepped into the office, gently shutting the door behind him. "I need you to take a break, JJ."

She shook her head. "I don't need to."

"You do," he pressed quietly. "We all have. There are enough of us to take time in shifts."

"I'm fine," she gritted.

"JJ -"

She slammed her fist down on the desk. "She's my best friend, Aaron!"

The tears became uncontrollable at that point, and he was there in less than a heartbeat, arms wrapping around her as she broke. Everyone else on the team had already gone through this, but JJ had outlasted them all, focused completely on the case.

"We'll find her," he murmured, stressing each word. "We will find Emily."

JJ only cried harder.


	35. dress

He was used to seeing her in dresses. Everyone was. Penelope Garcia was known for her eye-catching outfits - bright patterns, flashy hair accessories, and eyeglasses that matched the whole shebang.

She was spunky, and flirty, and he loved every second of it.

But the dress she wore that night was like nothing he had ever seen her in before. Simple, black, elegant. Straps that wrapped around her neck and then crossed on her back. It was perfect in every way.

It was even better when she showed up without Lynch, and he got to have her to himself the entire night.


	36. technology

He found her in the living room, sitting in the dark, staring out the window.

"Power go out?" he asked quietly, not wanting to scare her.

Emily nodded. "About twenty minutes ago."

He joined her on the couch, pulling her body against his so that they could both look outside. "You okay?"

She nodded, twining their fingers. "It's peaceful."

"What is?"

"Having everything turned off. I know our cell phones still work, but...it's nice to pretend that no one could get to us right now. Like we're finally alone."

Dave smiled, pressing a kiss to the back of her head. A wise-ass comment was on the tip of his tongue, but he bit it back, sensing that this moment meant too much to her to cheapen it.

"Can we stay out here for awhile?" she asked.

His grip on her tightened. "Whatever you want, Emmy."


	37. you be the anchor

She found him in his office, sitting by the window. He was hunched over, arms on his thighs, head bent low. The only light came from a small lamp on his desk and he was bathed in shadow, seeming to weigh him down even more.

Emily barely even paused. Shutting the door gently behind her, she went to him, kneeling in front of him without a word. She set down the first aid kit she had in her hands, opening it and pulling out supplies.

He watched her work in silence. Her touch was light as she cleaned the cut next to his eye, completely focused on the task at hand. She was thorough, only applying a bandaid after she was sure the cut was clear.

He expected her to pull back when she was finished. But her touch lingered, fingers ghosting over his face.

"Why are you still here?" he asked, his voice hoarse as his eyes searched hers.

She knew he wasn't asking why she was still in the office. He wanted to know why she was still with him. Still by his side. He needed an answer, but there was nothing vocal she could give him, no words she could find.

Her touch become firmer as she held his face in her hands, pulling him down. The kiss was hesitant at first, feeling her way around new territory. But her lips were soft and insistent against his , and he slowly melted into her.

And then he was right there with her. His hands moved to her arms, pulling her up higher as his head tilted to the side and he took the kiss deeper. Just like in everything else, they moved, breathed in sync, pulling each other closer until there wasn't even a heartbeat between them.

They didn't know words.


	38. forget your scars

Dave shook his head. "You don't know what you want."

Emily practically growled in frustration, throwing her hands into the air. "Actually, Dave, that's the whole point! I do know what I want. And it's you - not the prosecutor that hit on me today, not Mick, not some random guy walking down the street. I want you!"

"No."

"No?" she asked, eyebrows rising.

"No. This isn't going to happen."

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she wiped angrily at her cheeks. "So...what? That's it?"

He turned his back. "That's it."

She couldn't give up that easily. Not on this. Not on him. Moving forward slowly, she walked around until she was facing him. Then she took his face in her hands, pressing her forehead to the side of his face.

"Tell me you don't feel anything for me," she whispered.

"Emily -"

She kissed him softly, briefly. "Look me in the eye, and tell me you don't want me."

Dave sighed, raising his eyes to hers. "It's never been about feelings, Emily."

"Then why?"

"You deserve so much better," he murmured, kissing the side of her head. "I'm an old man, Emily. And more baggage than you can shake a stick at..."

"I'll forget your scars if you forget mine."

Dave frowned, looking down at her. "You're perfect," he whispered.

She rolled her eyes. "We both know that's a load of crap." She kissed him again. "I'm not giving up on you, Rossi."

Slowly, his hands came up to rest on her waist, pulling her just a little closer. "You saying I'm stuck with you?"

Emily nodded. "Pretty much."

This time, he kissed her, letting it linger. "I don't deserve you."

"We deserve to be happy, Dave. Both of us." Her eyes slid as her arms moved around his neck and she hugged him tightly. "Let us be happy."

He couldn't fight it anymore. Burying his face in her hair, he nodded, pulling her tight against him.


	39. come for me

It wasn't that he was thinking of Haley and what had happened to her.

He just knew that he had been through this before, that he couldn't do it again, that he couldn't watch his son go through it again. He wouldn't.

He was pretty sure he'd never kicked down so many doors in his life. But he kicked everything that got in his way - everything that stood between him and Emily.

And when he finally found her in a burning building, that didn't stop him either. He swept her up in his arms and held onto her as tightly as he could, rushing them both back out into the daylight.

"You came," she whispered, her eyes unfocused as blood ran down the side of her face.

"Of course I came," he murmured, kissing her head. "I will always come for you, Emily."


	40. lullabye

He wouldn't tell her. He couldn't.

But somehow, she knew anyway.

So every night, she would put Jack to bed, reading to him, tucking him in, singing him a song. Then she would move about the house - reading, watching TV, cleaning. On nights he had to work late, he didn't know how she filled the time, but she was always awake when came in, ready to give him a smile.

And once he had gone to bed, she would go into her room, and she would sing. It was soft, and he couldn't always make out the words. But he could hear her. And the sound would push the heavy thoughts out of his head, and he would fall asleep.

He couldn't tell her.

But on the nights he was out of town...he didn't sleep at all.


	41. sanity

"We should have done this a long time ago," Hotch murmured, staring at the two boys curled up on the floor, fast asleep despite the movie still playing on the t.v.

JJ smiled warmly. "Sometimes I think it's little moments like this that keep me sane."

He nodded. "It's hard," he said slowly, studiously avoiding turning his head to look at her. "Coming home to an empty house."

JJ thought for a long moment before speaking. "We're friends, right?"

"Of course."

"And our sons are friends."

His lips twitched. "Yes."

She turned her head to look him straight in the eye. "Then there's no reason we can't do things together more often. If nothing else, it's good for the boys."

Once he met her eyes, he couldn't look away. "And maybe we get to stay sane."

Her smile was small, but she nodded. "Maybe."

He turned back to the boys on the floor. "Maybe is enough for me," he whispered.


	42. a girl and her food

Morgan glanced up from his sandwich, frowning as he watched JJ devour the cheeseburger in her hands.

"Little hungry, Jayje?"

She struggled to swallow the humongous bite in her mouth, wiping at her chin. "Are you really commenting on a pregnant woman's eating habits?"

He held up his hands in mock surrender. "Simply making an observation. I'm not sure I've ever seen you attack food with such...gusto."

"I like meat."

"Pregnancy turn you into a ravenous carnivore?"

She gave him a playful smirk. "Try to get between me and my meat, and you'll find out."

Morgan shook his head, going back to his own food. "I may be pretty, but I'm not stupid."

JJ just grinned. "Good boy."


	43. don't lie to me

Emily wasn't stupid. She wasn't naive. She had already played that role in another life, and she was determined to be smarter about things now. Which was why she never assumed that things meant more than they seemed to. She had tried that before - nothing good came out of it.

Which was why her response to Dave was automatic.

"I love you," he murmured, their bodies a sweaty tangled mess as he hovered over her.

Emily shook her head. "Don't lie to me," she whispered.

That made him pause, and one hand came up to ghost over her face, his fingers moving along her features as he looked her straight in the eye.

"I have never lied to you, Emily Prentiss," he said firmly. "I'm certainly not going to start now."

She wanted to shake her head, to deny what he was saying. But then his lips were on hers again, and their bodies were moving together, and she was swept away.


	44. don't touch me

He flinched at the feel of her hand on his arm.

"Don't," he snapped, taking a step away from her.

Emily froze, watching him carefully. "Don't what?"

He turned his back to her, moving to his desk. "Don't touch me," he said quietly.

She could have been angry, if not for the fact that she understood where this was coming from. "You can't keep doing this, Aaron. You've seen it a million times before - if you hold everything in and refuse to let yourself grieve, you'll explode. You owe yourself more than that." When he didn't say anything, Emily stood up a little straighter, taking a deep breath. "You owe Jack more than that."

Hotch's head snapped up, his eyes hard. "Don't -"

"Don't what?" she questioned, taking a step forward. "Be honest with you? We don't lie to each other. You know that."

His shoulders slumped slightly, and he shook his head. "I can't do this," he whispered.

"Not alone," she conceded, closing the distance between them. When she reached her hand out this time, he took in a shuddering breath, but didn't pull away. "Let me help you," she urged. "Let me be your friend."

He warred with himself, but in the end, he knew he couldn't keep on like this. For Jack's sake if nothing else.

"Give me today," he murmured. "Let me finish today, and then..."

"Then?" she prodded, when he fell silent again.

Hotch sighed. "Then I'll try to let you in," he whispered.


	45. don't say that

Everyone had come over for dinner. Nothing special, but the team needed to regroup, to spend somet time together that didn't involve murderers and profiles. They just needed to be human, and JJ had been more than happy to have them over at her place.

But then the doorbell rang, and she found herself face-to-face with two detectives from Will's precinct, and all the air sucked out of her lungs.

"JJ," one began, his expression pained and broken. "JJ, he -"

She shook her head. "Don't," she whispered. "Don't say that."

His eyes were watering. "JJ, I'm so sorry."

The floor ripped out from underneath her, and her knees gave way. Someone caught her from behind and pulled her against a strong chest, but it didn't matter. A cry of utter grief tore from her chest and she collapsed.

He was gone.


	46. don't be stupid

"Don't be stupid," Morgan hissed, aiming his gun as sweat poured down his face.

The kid in front of him was shaking, his grip on his own weapon unsteady. But Morgan knew the look of desperation in his eyes. Knew that this was one of the most dangerous situations he could be in.

"Come on, kid," he urged, heart pounding. "You don't wanna do this. Just put the gun down and we can walk away from this."

He shook his head. "I can't," he whispered.

Morgan saw his finger on the trigger. He saw his grip tightening. He knew the kid was going to shoot him, and that the only chance he had was to fire first.

But he couldn't do it.

"Kid, please -"

"Drop it."

They both froze at the sound of JJ's voice, the kid's breath catching as he felt the barrel of her gun pressed against his temple. His arms lowered almost automatically, giving the uniforms a chance to come in and take the gun from him.

As they cuffed him and brought him out of the room, JJ holstered her own weapon and moved towards Morgan.

"I thought you were outside," he said quietly.

"I was. I had a clear shot at his head from the bushes on the north side."

Morgan frowned. "Then why didn't you take it?"

She shrugged. "Because I knew that if that kid died, no matter who pulled the trigger, you'd carry that with you. And you've got enough weight on your shoulders, Derek."

He watched her walk out of the room, seeing for the first time the friend he had in JJ.


	47. damn tongue

David Rossi was not usually a man at a loss for words. He had been through enough difficult situations in his life that he had a response for almost everything, or at least a way to keep a blank expression on his face.

Nothing had prepared him for this.

He could tell himself over and over again that his actions had been justified, that he had actually saved her life. If not for him, the UNSUB would have zeroed in on her, and with the cruelty he'd shown to his other victims...the thought actually made him sick.

Of course, none of that changed the fact that he had kissed Emily Prentiss.

And it hadn't been some light peck on the lips. David Rossi didn't do things 'just a little.' If he was going to do it, he was all in. He had tangled one hand in her long black hair and pulled her to him, the kiss deep and passionate.

If he had been thinking straight, maybe he wouldn't have slid his tongue into her mouth and groaned deeply. That was the part that was proving difficult to justify.

Sitting next to her on the plane, though, he knew that he had to say something.

"Emily," he began. "I -"

Her hand moved to rest on his arm. "Don't apologize, Dave."

He felt his cheeks heat up a little bit. "I think I really should."

She shook her head. "If you say that you're sorry, it ruins it." She gave him a flirty but shy smile. "And that was one hell of a kiss, Rossi. You definitely shouldn't ruin something like that."

"Is it something we should try again then?" He contemplated shooting himself for not being able to control his tongue. It was getting him into an awful lot of trouble lately.

But Emily just bit her bottom lip and nodded. "I'm game if you are."


	48. doesn't make it right

Hotch frowned, not fully understanding. "He just...left?"

JJ nodded, already tired of the conversation. "Yep."

"But why?"

She sighed, tossing the file down onto her desk. He wasn't going to let this go, and her head was pounding. "Because he's convinced that you and I are having an affair."

His eyes widened and his frown deepened. "Neither of us has ever given him any reason to think that."

She shrugged. "Yeah, well..."

"JJ, I'm sorry -"

She held up a hand to stop him. "Don't apologize, Hotch. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Neither did you," he said firmly.

JJ let out a bitter laugh. "I had a perfectly good man who loved me, and I just couldn't bring myself to love him back. I'd say there's something wrong with that."

His hand lifted as though he wanted to touch her, but then it fell to his side again. "Just because he's a good man doesn't make him the right one," he said quietly.

With that, he turned and walked out of the office, leaving JJ to stare after him.


	49. surrogate

She was working hard at controlling her breathing, fighting her way through the contractions. Rossi scowled down at her as they wheeled her towards a room.

"Are you going to give me his name now?" he asked. "The bastard should be here while you're having his damn kid."

Emily gritted her teeth in pain and then glared up at him. "He doesn't want anything to do with this." Her hard look turned into a grimace as she just barely kept herself from crying out. "Hate to tell you this, Rossi, but you're gonna have to play surrogate daddy here. Just hold my hand and tell me I can do this."

Dave slipped his hand into hers and squeezed tightly. The other came up to brush the bangs out of her eyes. "You can do this," he said quietly, his voice firm as he looked her in the eye. "And you will never be alone, Emily Prentiss. Not you, and not your daughter, you understand me?"

Biting her bottom lip and fighting back tears, Emily nodded.


	50. bets

Dave frowned. "So let me get this straight. You bet JJ that she couldn't get Hotch out onto the dance floor."

Emily nodded. "Ten bucks."

"And then you let Morgan bet you that JJ wouldn't ask Hotch to dance."

She nodded again. "Fifty bucks."

Dave's eyes slid over to the dance floor, where JJ and Hotch were moving slowly, standing much closer than friends would. "So you just won forty bucks."

Emily smiled. "And helped my best friend get the guy. Not bad for a night's work."

He couldn't help but laugh. "You're quite the woman, Emily Prentiss."

She grinned at him. "And don't you forget it."


	51. whole package

"Truth time," JJ said, taking another sip of her margarita.

"Oh god," Emily groaned. "I do not trust that evil glint in your eyes."

"It's a simple question."

"I'm sure it's anything but," Emily muttered.

JJ paused, taking another drink. "Who do you think has the nicest body?"

For a minute, her friend just stared at her. "Like...ever? In the world?"

The media liaison grinned wickedly. "On the team."

"You're kidding."

"Not at all."

"That's not even right."

"Simple question, Em."

"One that you could answer?"

"Hmmm. I think so."

"But you're going to make me answer first."

JJ shrugged. "I did ask first."

Emily sighed. "Fine. If we're just talking body, and not the whole package...I'd have to go with Morgan."

The blonde nodded. "A respectable choice."

"And for you?" Emily pressed.

JJ shrugged again. "Hotch."

"You've seen him shirtless?"

"Only because I had to patch him up once. But I was impressed." She set her drink down. "Now, I seem to recall you saying something about the 'whole package.' So...who on the team has that?"

Emily just groaned.


	52. bath

JJ's eyes opened slowly as she heard the door swing open, and she smiled when Hotch stepped into the bathroom.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey," she whispered.

He squatted down behind her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm not trying to intrude. I know you like your quiet bath time." His fingers trailed across her face and through her hair. "I just really needed to see you," he murmured.

"I'd actually rather you were in here with me."

Hotch's eyebrows rose slowly. "Really?"

She nodded. "If you're not too manly for a bubble bath," she said with a smirk.

Rolling his eyes, he kissed her briefly and then stood up, sliding his clothes off. They slid to the floor silently, and then he was lifting her up slightly and moving to sit behind her. She settled back against his chest with a contented sigh, pulling his arms around her waist.

"I needed to see you, too," she murmured.

Hotch just tightened his hold on her and breathed her in.


	53. what i need

Emily sighed, suddenly exhausted. "Just give me something, Hotch. Anything. Just...just be honest."

He was silent for so long, that she didn't think he was going to answer her. But when he finally did speak, fists clenched at his sides, his voice was quiet and calm.

"I...I like you." He swallowed hard, unable to meet her eyes. "That's all I can give you right now."

Emily smile, her lips quivering and her eyes full. Stepping forward, she slowly took one of his hands in both of hers, gently prying his fist open.

"It's enough," she whispered.


	54. your every desire

"Office of the Supreme Wishmaster."

Derek couldn't help but laugh. "Wishmaster, huh?"

"SUPREME Wishmaster," Penelope corrected. "I shall fulfill all your desires. All you needs do is speak them."

There was a slight pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was quite a bit lower. "And if I want you?" he asked.

Garcia barely repressed a shiver at his tone. "I, sir knight, am currently on backorder."

"Damn. You mean I gotta wait in line?"

"Only until you get back from Utah, my love. And then you get jumped to the head of the line."

"I better be the only one in the damn line," he growled.

Penelope grinned. "Your wish is my command."


	55. i lost it for myself

She had never seen JJ drunk before. They had gotten tipsy on girls nights out, and numbingly buzzed after really difficult cases. But looking at her friend leaning over the bar, scotch in hand...Emily was at a loss.

"I really hate you sometimes," JJ said quietly, her voice heavy and sad.

Emily frowned. "Why?"

Fingering the ring on her right hand, JJ shook her head. "You never settle. You go after what you want."

She still didn't understand. But then JJ looked up, looked past her, and Emily could see the tears filling her friend's eyes.

"You had the courage to go after the one thing I couldn't," she whispered.

Her frown deepened, and Emily turned to look over her shoulder. The only person she saw was Aaron.

And then she understood.

"Oh, Jayje -"

But when she turned back, her friend was gone.


	56. things i need to say

Emily leaned in, kissing him softly, her hair brushing across his bare chest as they lay in bed together. "I -" She shook her head, kissing him again, harder this time.

Aaron pulled back slightly. "You what?"

She shook her head again. "Nothing."

"You know I can tell when you're lying."

Emily sighed, flopping back against the mattress and staring up at the ceiling. "You suck."

Chuckling, he turned on his side, running one finger along the edge of the sheet that covered her body. "I see we've reached the childish phase of this conversation."

She rolled her eyes, but didn't meet his gaze. "I need to ask you something. And I need you to be honest."

"Okay." His answer was immediate and sincere.

"Will you..." Emily sighed, almost growling in frustration before starting again. "Are you going to freak out if I tell you that I love you?"

He frowned slightly, hand moving up to her face. "Is that what you think I'd do?"

Emily shook her head. "I -"

"I love you."

Her head snapped to the side as she stared at him. "What?"

"I love you, Emily."

She stared at him for a moment longer, and then she was on top of him, kissing him, whispering the words back to him over and over and over again.

He swallowed every one of them.


	57. i speak to you in riddles

"I love you."

Emily shook her head, keeping her back to him. "Don't say that."

"I do."

"No, you don't."

Dave huffed slightly. "I'm fairly certain that I know I'm feeling, Emily."

"You can't feel that way about me."

"Why not?"

She took a deep breath. "Because I don't feel that way about you."

It hurt. Even though he knew what she was doing. What she was trying to force him to do. The words still hurt. But he stepped towards her instead of the door, and took a gentle hold on her shoulders as he turned her around and forced her to face him.

"Try that one again," he said.

She opened her mouth, but the words never came. Instead, she scowled and shook her head. "I hate you sometimes."

"You don't have to say it yet, Emily. I can wait."

Glancing up at him, she shrugged, biting her bottom lip. "Even if I feel that way about you?" she asked quietly.

His expression was gentle as one hand came up to push the hair back from her face. "Even if you feel that way about me," he assured her, his voice quiet.

Emily wrapped her arms around his torso, burying her head in his chest. "I do, you know," she whispered.

Dave let his hands trail through her hair, and he kissed the top of her head, pulling her closer. "I know."


	58. no more song and dance

"You don't trust anybody, do you?" he asked, struggling to keep his voice steady.

"That's not true."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Oh really?"

Emily kept her head down, focusing on her drink. "I trust you," she said quietly.

"If that were true, you'd be telling me what was bothering you, instead of giving me the 'I'm fine' song and dance."

That made her fall silent for a minute. Rossi drained his glass and raised his hand for another before she spoke again.

"Maybe I just wasn't sure you wanted the truth. Not everyone who asks really wants to know."

Dave turned on his stool until he was facing her resting one elbow on the bar, and then leaning his head against that hand.

"I want to know," he said quietly.

Emily took another drink and then started to talk.


	59. remember how we used to be

"I hate this," she whispered as he stepped out of their son's room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Aaron sighed, leaning back against the wall. "I'm sorry." When she frowned at him, he shrugged. "If I had been better at this...you wouldn't have had to leave."

Her expression softened, tears coming to her eyes. "I forgave you a long time ago, Aaron. I..." She shook her head. "You don't know how many times I've wanted to ask you if we could try this again."

His head snapped up, his eyes guarded and hopeful. "Why didn't you?"

Tears slid down her face. "Because of what I did. I'm the one who betrayed you, Aaron. I'm the one who..."

She couldn't say it. She didn't need to. They both knew what she meant.

Slightly dizzy, he reached out to cup her face with one hand. "Haley," he whispered, stomach tightening at the way she closed her eyes at his touch. "I forgive you."

Her eyes snapped open, and then she was moving forward, closing the all too familiar distance between them. They stayed like that for a long time, lips and hands and hearts remembering immediately how it felt to move together. And when she pulled back, resting her head on his shoulder and looping her arms around his torso, Aaron let out a deep sigh.

Maybe he hadn't lost everything after all.


	60. brilliant

JJ rolled her eyes as she watched the two men standing with their arms crossed. Bones from another potential victim had been found, and now the local PD was doing a grid search. Hotch and Rossi insisted on being there for the entire search, despite the fact that the sun was beating down on them without remorse, and they were both wearing full suits.

"Idiots," she muttered.

Stepping forward, she took them both by the arm and started them dragging them both backwards.

Hotch frowned. "JJ -"

"Don't worry. I'm not pulling you away from the case." When she got them to the back of one of the SUVs, she pushed them down onto the open tailgate. "Sit."

"What are you doing?" Rossi asked.

"For two brilliant men, you're both incredibly stupid." She reached behind them into a cooler. "Jackets off," she ordered.

They both complied automatically, and she fought back a smirk. You could always tell when a man had been married. But she kept the stern look on her face, handing them both a bottle of water.

"Stay here for ten minutes, and finish that water before you go back out there." She started to walk away, and then turned to toss another bottle at Hotch. "And for God's sake, you two...put on some sunscreen."

They just stared at her as she walked away.


	61. without boundaries

The breeze took enough of the edge off of the heat, and as her feet sank into the sand, JJ closed her eyes, letting the waves crash around her ankles. The case was done, but there was a storm over D.C., and they wouldn't be able to catch a flight until morning.

"You okay?"

She started slightly, turning to see Derek coming up to stand beside her. He was barefoot as well, the water soaking the bottoms of his pants.

"I'm fine," she said quietly, twisting her mouth into a small smile.

"C'mon, Jayje..."

"You profiling me?"

He shook his head. "I'm your friend," he said firmly. "I can tell when something's wrong."

She nodded, hearing the truth in his words. Crossing her arms, she looked back out over the ocean. "Will left."

The shock was plain on his face. "What? Why?"

JJ shrugged. "A lot of reasons, I guess. But...he said some things...right before he walked out..." She shook her head. "I can't get the words out of my head."

"What did he say?" Derek asked gently.

Her mouth trembled, but she didn't turn. "That I'm cold," she whispered. "Unloving. That I don't ever give. He said it was impossible to love someone like me."

"Jayje..." He reached out resting a hand on her shoulder and turning her to face him. The other hand came up just under her chin. "He's wrong."

"Is he?"

"Short of one Miss Penelope Garcia, you are the warmest person I have ever met. You give more of yourself to the victims and the families than anyone else on this team. You feel for every single one of them. You love without boundaries. I've seen it."

"But Will..."

"Maybe you just didn't love him," he said quietly. "Not the way he wanted you to."

She wanted to argue, but it was hard to argue with facts. Nodding slowly, she turned back to look at the water, breathing a little deeper, a little easier.

He stayed with her.


	62. the world i know

She stares out over the edge, down at the rolling fog covering the trees and rocks below. The cold is sharp, but it feels good against her skin, stripping through layers and leaving her bare to a world she's sometimes too busy to really see.

"The plane leaves in less than an hour."

She can't help but chuckle. Of course he would come looking for her.

And he was probably the only one who could find her.

"You could have just called," she says, not turning around. "I have my phone."

She almost feels his shrug. "I don't mind climbing a mountain to get to you."

Shaking her head, she turns to look at him over her shoulder. "I want to say that's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard."

He quirks an eyebrow at her. "But?"

Her eyes are a little sad. "It's also the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." She holds out her hand, so afraid that it feels as though a thousand broken butterflies had taken up residence in her core. "Stay with me? Just for awhile?"

"For as long as you'll let me," he says softly.

He takes her hand.


	63. no one's waiting for me

"I thought you went home."

JJ turned around, smiling at Reid as he joined her on the roof. "It's a nice night out," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Wasn't quite ready to go back inside."

He moved closer, hands in his pockets. She marveled at how much he had grown up since she had first met him, how much older the new hair cut made him look. They had all changed so much in the past few years...it was a wonder she didn't notice it more often.

"Aren't Will and Henry waiting for you?"

JJ shook her head. "No."

He didn't know what to make of that, and she didn't want to explain. Finally coming up to stand beside her, they both stared out over the city.

"I love when you can see the stars," she murmured. "You usually can't in the city, but this..." She shook her head. "Tonight it's clear enough."

Reid just nodded, and she glanced over at him, nudging him slightly with her elbow. "No statistics on cities and the pollution they cause?"

He returned her smile, shrugging. "I never feel the need to give statistics with you, JJ."

Nodding, she slipped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad, Spence," she whispered.


	64. tactile

Emily breathed in deeply, letting her eyes slide shut. "I could get lost out here," she murmured.

Dave grunted as they sat on the porch of his cabin, staring out at the trees. "Told you it was great out here."

She leaned her head against his chest and tucked herself into the side of his body. "It's beautiful," she agreed. Dave tensed beneath her, and she frowned. "You okay?"

He nodded, forcing himself to relax as he ran his hand up and down her arm. "You're not usually this tactile," he said quietly.

"We're usually at work," she countered. "Does it bother you?"

"The touching or the not touching?"

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "The touching."

Dave shook his head, moving his fingers into her hair. "I like the touching."

"I bet you do."

He grunted at that. "Smartass." He was quiet for another moment before speaking again. "I'm talking about the little touches, Emily. I'd like to have more of those."

Sitting up slightly, she looked him in the eye. "We could have that...outside of work," she clarified.

He gave her a small smile. "Outside of work," he agreed.

She snuggled against him again, and Dave felt a wave of tension ease out of his body. They may have been moving at a snail's pace, but he'd take any step forward with the woman in his arms. No matter how long it took them, he would make sure she knew that he loved her.

He just prayed she loved him back.


	65. running away

Morgan frowned when he found Emily Prentiss in his driveway, her backseat filled with a couple of suitcases.

"Don't do this," he said, shaking his head. "Don't you dare do this, Emily."

She stopped short, clearly taken aback. "Don't do what?"

"Don't run." He nodded towards her car. "Just because we got something good goin' here doesn't mean you gotta high-tail it outta here."

Emily held up a hand. "Running? Derek, I -" She looked back at the car, suddenly putting the pieces together. Turning to face him again, she reached out and took his hand. "I'm not leaving. Well...not for long, anyway."

His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I just...I need to get out of the city for a few days. Away from work, from the cases. I rented a cabin..." She shrugged, her nerves twisting painfully in the pit of her stomach. "I thought, maybe...you might want to go with me."

The grin on his face couldn't have been more sudden or sincere. "You wanna take me away for the weekend? Have your wicked way with me?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "You just couldn't let the moment keep going, could you?"

He winked at her. "I can be ready in twenty minutes."

Kissing him quickly, she flashed him a wicked smile. "You've got ten."


	66. you slipped away like sand

He was doing the right thing.

That's what he kept repeating to himself as he watched her get dressed. Stamping down the memories of what had happened the night before, he tried to forget the way her body had moved against his. For the first time in months, he had felt alive...human.

But that didn't change the fact that this couldn't happen. That she deserved more than what he could offer her.

"JJ..."

She gave him a small smile and shook her head. "I understand, Hotch. You needed this." Moving closer, she rested a gentle hand on his face as she leaned up to kiss his cheek. "We can still work together. We're still friends."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

JJ shook her head again, and he could see tears standing in her eyes. "I knew I wouldn't get to keep you. I'm just glad I got to have you at all."

WIth that, she was gone.


	67. full sails and empty helm

Emily angrily wiped at her face. "I'm a mess," she grumbled.

Dave snorted, leaning back against the bathroom sink. "Don't give me that bullshit, Prentiss. We're all a mess."

"Not everybody loses it like I just did, though," she said ruefully.

Pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket, Dave gently took her face in one hand and turned her so that she was looking right at him. Keeping his eyes focused on her cheeks, he wiped at them gingerly, clearing away the mascara and tears.

"Why are you here?" she whispered. "Why did you follow me?"

His eyes finally rose to meet hers. "Because I chose to," he said firmly.

The raging storm in her chest changed directions.


	68. souls in tangled knots

He found her in nearby hallway, one that was quieter and didn't smell as strongly of antiseptic and blood. He stood awkwardly in front of her, hands in his pockets, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I should be better at this, he thinks.

He finds his voice. "Are you alright?"

JJ hugged herself tightly, leaning against the wall. "No. You?"

He thought about lying, but then it was gone, and he was shaking his head. "Not really."

She slid down the wall until she found the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. There was nothing else he could say, nothing that wouldn't sound like small talk meant to fill the painful void. And she deserved better than that.

So he came to sit beside her, letting their shoulders touch. Time passed slowly, and then her hand reached out, hovering over his.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," she whispered.

He swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before turning his palm upward in offering. "I want to comfort you," he murmured.

Their fingers tangled.


	69. swallowing blades and turpentine

Every breath was like swallowing a knife, every exhale like losing a part of her soul. The floor came rushing up at her, trying to break her against it as her cheek scratched across the carpet. The room spun and her stomach lurched, but there was nothing left inside her to come out. Heart pounding against her chest, she wondered if it could shatter her rib cage.

She wished it would.

But then there were arms, gathering her up, and she was pressed against an expensive suit, her body surrounded by long legs as she was rocked gently.

"Breathe, JJ," he whispered. "Breathe, sweetheart."

She shook her head, wincing at how that hurt, too. "I can't," she whispered, her throat raw.

"You have to. For Henry."

She let out a painful sob, choking on it. "They're gone. I can't...I can't do this alone, Dave."

"You don't have to -"

"Will is dead," she cut in, her voice harsh. "Reid is dead. Hotch is in the hospital. I...everyone I love...they're all leaving me."

Strong hands went to her face, forcing her to look at him. "Yes. You've lost a lot in the past three days, JJ. But Hotch isn't gone. He's fighting, and he'll come back to you. And you've got Derek. Emily. Penelope. You've got me. Always. You know that."

"And Henry?" she asked, the pain in her chest feeling slightly different at his words. "He's lost his father, his godfather..."

"Hotch will come back to him, too, JJ. He promised not to leave you, and he will do everything to honor that." His expression gentled, thumbs stroking her cheeks. "Dammit, JJ," he whispered. "You and Henry are my family. That little boy...he's practically my grandson. Family is forever."

It was just a word. But when he looked at her like that, the breath rattled through her, hurting just a little bit less than it had the moment before. And for the first time since her father had died, JJ felt safe. Like even if she was falling...he wouldn't let her break against the rocks.

"I want to go back to the hospital," she murmured.

He nodded. "In the morning, I'll take you."

"You'll stay?"

His arms tightened around her. "Yes"

Her eyes slid shut.


	70. it still hurts

"Daddy?"

Hotch looked up from his book to find his son standing in front of him, clutching his Scooby Doo. There was a very serious look on his face, and he shuffled his feet against the carpet.

"What's up, buddy?"

"Can I have some medicine?"

Hotch immediately frowned - he hadn't know that Jack was feeling unwell. "Do you feel sick?

Jack shook his head. "It still hurts."

"What does?"

The little boy's voice trembled slightly. "Mommy."

The book forgotten on the couch beside him, Hotch opened up his arms, holding his son tightly. For a long time, they just sat there, clinging to one another in the silence.

"I wish there was a medicine for that, Jack," he finally said, his voice soft. "But I think it might always hurt. Not as much as it does now. But just a little."

Jack's hands played with his tie. "Do you still hurt?"

Hotch nodded, swallowing thickly. "Yeah," he replied, his voice hoarse. "But I think the only way to make it feel better is to laugh, and live, and remember the good times with Mommy." He cleared his throat. "Think we can do that?"

Jack nodded, resting his head against his father's chest. "Love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, Jack," he said, kissing the top of his head. "I love you, too."


	71. answers hidden in moon beams

She used to be able to sleep.

Even with all of the cases they had, the horrors they faced...she had always been able to shut her brain off and go to sleep. She would kiss her son goodnight, and then crawl in beside Will and just close her eyes. Her breathing would even out, her body would relax...she might have been the most well-adjusted agent in the BAU.

Her mouth twisted in irony as she stared out the window. It wasn't mutilated corpses or grieving families that kept her awake.

It was an ultimatum.

Turning slightly, she leaned against the wall and watched the man sleeping in her bed. Sometimes she wondered how they had gotten here. It just seemed like one thing rolled into another, until she found herself living a life she had never intended.

One she still wasn't sure she wanted.

And now she was faced with the prospect of losing her family. No matter what she chose, she was going to lose people in her life. She just had to decide if her team or her fiance meant more.

She turned back to the window.


	72. a breath to wipe it all away

Their breathing was in sync as they lifted their arms and bent over. Eyes closed, they could feel the other standing beside them, going through the same motions, letting out the same bad memories as they made more room for the good ones.

They had found each other by accident, but instead of teasing or avoiding, there had been a quiet acceptance. There were so many unhealthy ways of dealing with the job, that neither could taint this for the other. They didn't mention it to anyone else, either - it was their time.

Theirs alone.

"Wanna get breakfast?" Derek asked afterward, his voice still quiet from the near-silence of class.

JJ smiled. "Breakfast sounds great."


	73. learning to laugh

Morgan stared at his boss in disbelief, before leaning over to Dave.

"Is he...laughing?"

Rossi quirked an eyebrow. "It was a funny joke."

"Yeah, but...it's Hotch. He hasn't laughed since Haley."

Whether he meant the divorce or her death, it didn't really matter. Dave shrugged.

"You haven't met Cara yet, have you?"

"The nanny? Not really."

Dave nodded. "She's the one that reminded me how to laugh."

Derek's eyes widened as he leaned back in his seat. "Must be one of hell of a woman."

"You have no idea, Derek. No idea."


	74. now comes the night

He didn't know how she knew.

It didn't really matter, though. She was there, and she was real, and he was too damn tired to care about the how or the why. Her hair was long again, dancing around her shoulders in the half-curls he found himself remembering. Her eyes were softer, though, no longer throwing defenses up at anyone who dared to meet her gaze. He wondered if she had found peace - and though a small part of him was jealous about that, he was mostly happy for her. At least one of them deserved to heal.

For a long time, they just stared at each other. And then her mouth trembled, and she reached up, resting her hand on his face gently. The touch was hesitant, as though she were afraid he'd jerk away.

But he was too damn tired for that, too.

"Oh, Hotch," she whispered, her voice breaking.

It was too much. Everything rushed up through his body, getting stuck in his throat and threatening to burst out of his chest. He had to let it go, or it would kill him.

"Elle," he choked.

The dam burst, and he was in her arms, not caring how that had happened either. They just sank down into the space between the door jambs, her body between him and the world. Her fingers ran through his hair and she held him tightly, silent against the force of his grief. He was grateful for that, even in the midst of his pain. He didn't need words.

But he suddenly realized that he might need her.


End file.
